update

so, i figured it was time for an update before the new year. i have no done much per say in weight lose. mtsu gym is closed& i shall not be returning in the spring. i'll be attending motlow yet again but i will be going at the same time nathan does. very nice indeed.

the rush holiday season is over for a bit in the mall or is about to be over with. thank goodness but this means lesser hours for me to work. increasing my chance on trying to find either another job or a 2nd job.

nathan is moving out of his parents house hopefully son& this mean's, well, i'll be staying out there a bit more often then home. :) i on the other hand is stuck living at home, which makes my ego go down further south.

my hair is finally starting to get longer. if i lower my head or raise my breast the tips of my hair hit them. my goal is past the boobs.

picture above is my current status of what i look like. it was taken at the jack daniel's distillery, about an hour drive from my home town. i am happy& right now comfy. i'm still going for the goal but i am happy. nathan keeps me in check& always tell's me, "my girl looks so beautiful." or pretty& sexy. i like the sexy one.

"mmmhmm, sexy."

update

i still weigh the same& things have been utterly busy since there is only 3 more weeks of school left. urgh... i feel awful for not doing anything for the past two weeks.....

fail. epic fail.

burn baby burn

i stayed on one machine for 30mins& lost 342 calories. i'm proud of myself! yaya!

i haven't weight myself today& i probably want tonight. i'm going to work on my tribal costume for nov 1. i'm about done with my bra then my mother& i will have to tackle the skirt.

the food i had today:

BREAKFEST
two packets of apple oatmeal
glass of milk

LUNCH
apples& ramen noodles

SNACK
peanut butter cracker pack& sierra mist

DINNER
ooooooh boy
chicken
cream corn
apples
& home made mashed potatoes
with half a glass of milk

(no 2nds) still hungry too.... :( i love eating my moms 2nds!!!!


off to get my car fixed! good night!

a bond that never breaks but cracks

so, after a crazy two weeks, which doesn't really seem that long ago, my sister& i are talking again. things became crazy& i have no idea what happened but all is good. she become my work out buddy last night& i burned a total of 192 cals. i always fall short of my goal of 200 cals when i work out. but maybe working out my lower body on the exercise equipment helped. i worked on my legs, arms& stomach area.

tomorrow i have a busy day. i missed my art ed. class& have to turn in my journal to my teacher. problem is i have know idea what her office hours are. gah.

anyway, i had two peanut butter sandwiches for breakfest with a 2% milk& when i came home i picked up an orange cream soda, had the rest of a small chicken sandwhich with heated swiss cheese& mustard. after class, i came home to change& my mom brought home lasanga, rolls& cinamon rolls. gah

after worked out i had some chips at sabrina's house in a bowl, apple juice& a tiny piece of turkey on wheat, with tomato. later i came home& cheated... i had some cake. WAH!

anyway, i'm so sore. i just lifed some more weights before i hit the sack& wake up yet again to do my homework. rawr.

butter my butt& call me a bisket

http://news.yahoo.com/s/usnews/20081020/ts_usnews/10thingsthefoodindustrydoesntwantyoutoknow


shocking

oh gawd

so, i really really really need structure in working out. i've got eating well sized meals right, if you don't count the bbq, coleslaw& baked beans i had at the motorcycle rally at bumpus yesterday. hey, i earned it, i skipped breakfest to go riding for a good course but man, my ass was hurting by the time we got back. i then had corn bread& white beans provided by nathans mother. it was wonderful. his sister asked me what i wanted from the store& all day i kept thinking of a kit-kat bar.

i did slip up though. i had a 410 cal apple pie from a gas station on our way back from the poker run. i was so hungry& i also had a dr. pepper. EEEEH! bad bad bad.

right now i'm cooking some pork with lemon pepper& heating up some tatters. :) i thought i'd make lunch while moms at church.

105.9 the rock

so, i figure it's about damn time for an update. i didn't do much in working out this week besides drinking water& eating less. not having any money solves this problem. the rec was closed during fall break, which sucked.

alas, i was let out of my 2D class todays early, so i went home& changed& headed to the gym. i didn't stay to long, being by myself kinda sucks but i'll get over it. sarah had work till 5 but later texted me saying she was doing over time, i guess.

all together i have lost 185 calories for today. plus, i lifted weights, but not with my arms. i feel out numbered with all the "hot" guys in the weight lifting room. they all think their so buff with their toned arms& ripped chest. (mmmhm) nathan is nothing like them, he said he used to be but since he moved here to tennessee he stopped. its because in Texas, they care more about football& jesus than anything else. in growing murfreesboro, we care more about basketball& jesus than anything else. i care more about baseball& wicca& art& photography. this doesn't flow with my mom very well. i grew up in church of christ& to her that a family member is wiccan would be an up roar. SOOOO, its on the DL.

but, nathan, to me, is perfect. every inch of him is comfort to me& i feel very secure. i love it!

so, today i worked out for about an hour& 30 mins. i think? i'm not sure how much i weigh, i'm a little bit affraid to look.

while sitting in my math class i came up with a chart:

240 > 170 = 70
235 > 170 = 65
230 > 170 = 60
225 > 170 = 55
220 > 170 = 50
215 > 170 = 45
210 > 170 = 40
205 > 170 = 35
200 > 170 = 30
195 > 170 = 25
190 > 170 = 20
185 > 170 = 15
180 > 170 = 10
175 > 170 = 5
170 = 170

green is what i've lost, purple is were i'm at& red is my goal weight for june 9, 2009 or before. i want to be hawt when i hit 22.

YEAAH!

so, i just weighed myself on my stay at home scale& i have lost 5 more pounds! yesh yesh yesh! thats 10 pounds total

no more 240&235 but i'm 230! ha! in your face cookies, ice cream& fried chicken. ummm fried chicken.

anyway, on my other blog (riders on the storm) i put how i wanted to have a 32 oz steak from santa fe& be a member on their great wall of one of the people that eat the whole thing, two sides& a large drink. i might die so i think i will do soemthing else.

haha!

gawd, i feel great right now. i have 60 more pounds to go. yaaaaaaay!

URGH!

so, sarah& i went to the gym last night& i'm new to my college& didn't know the hours of the gym. well it closed at 8.... damnit.

anyway, i have bad news. i lost a friend of 5yrs because we are two different people. she was like a sister two me& i want her to be apart of this but she just got tired of caring. i ened it last night because its not only our age difference& the fact that i'm older than her. its because she doesn't know what she wants& is getting out of control, i think. i'm going to school to be an art teacher& i don't need, hey wanna smoke pot? or hey wanna stay out till the butt crack of dawn.? i mean, i stopped doing that slowly after my first break up when i was 19. i'll be 22 years old next year. i'm learning from my mistakes& making a change. she isn't. i mean, she's only 18 but still.

i don't need that in my life. i can't be held back. there's more to this crazy story but i'm not going to make a huge deal about it. so, i'm going step away& move on. i'm going to focus on my life; losing weight, getting more hours at work, trying to see my boyfriend, do my homework& be one of the grandchildren in my family to graduate college. there are only few who have. i want to be one of them.


anyway, more info about me:

i'm karen, i'm born& raised in middle tennessee (murfreesboro is the center of tennessee). i'm an only child but some where out there i have a red headed step brother.

i love motorcycles! not the speed bikes but nice sexy motorcycles& sitting behind the man you love. its a great feeling being behind a bike, you feel free.

i have a wonderful supportive boyfriend who loves who i am& what i look like but understand what i want. i haven't told him that i love him but i really do.

i work at hottopic& have been there for about a year. i was a temp during the holidays for christmas in 07& came back hired part time permanently this year in june. so, yay! i'm trying to rebuild my resume because last year i was a careless person who walked out of a job. i have my reasons!

i'm back living with my mom!

i think the whole weight gain problem started at a very young age. i lost my father when 5 days before christmas. my mom had a hard time dealing with the lose so there was always junk food. i was teased at school for the clothes i wore, my glasses,& the slight fat i had on me.

when i was 15, i was on vacation with my aunt, uncle& younger cousin. we were eating wendy's when i looked around me& saw them shoving fries down their mouths. it made me sick so i didn't eat the rest of my food. i got home& started to work out the best i could. by my senior year of high school i was at my lowest weight, 165. stayed that way till the beginning of college in 2006.

this year, i came to my highest at 240. i have lost 5-10 pounds& right now i'm slightly at 235. its a hard road to go down on& i'm so ashamed of myself for this happening to me.

anyway, i will lose 70 pounds& get back in my size 12/13 jeans. i'll be happier again. :)

i also used to be a smoker& i haven't since april but i did have one yesterday because i was stressing out. i do drink beer but i have cut back to every month or so. i had a 6pack this month so no more till the end of the year!

two-three days a week for 4-6 hours

today, Sarah& i went to the Rec Center on our campus to start working out. i had asked her if she would like to be my work out buddy. this way i will feel support to lose the weight i gained.

we first started out playing racket ball, which i had no idea how to play but we got our hearts pumping& legs jumping. we then took a 8min break& drank some water& went up stairs. we got on the puke-ta-lip-tush. the thing that makes you run in place that burns fat in your but& legs. anyway, i burned 100 cals. we went down stairs again to the weight room& check out the different things. i did a bunch for about 20 reps each on 155 pounds. i'm suprised i can still do 155 pounds. i can still feel the burn in my legs& arms.

we came home& eat ramen& half a glass of milk. before we went i had peanut butter w/ banna& a apple with water for breakfest& when i came home i eat a smal hamburger with swiss cheese, lettuce& mustard.

well, i'm going to lift some weight i have in my room& take a shower.