so, sarah& i went to the gym last night& i'm new to my college& didn't know the hours of the gym. well it closed at 8.... damnit.
anyway, i have bad news. i lost a friend of 5yrs because we are two different people. she was like a sister two me& i want her to be apart of this but she just got tired of caring. i ened it last night because its not only our age difference& the fact that i'm older than her. its because she doesn't know what she wants& is getting out of control, i think. i'm going to school to be an art teacher& i don't need, hey wanna smoke pot? or hey wanna stay out till the butt crack of dawn.? i mean, i stopped doing that slowly after my first break up when i was 19. i'll be 22 years old next year. i'm learning from my mistakes& making a change. she isn't. i mean, she's only 18 but still.
i don't need that in my life. i can't be held back. there's more to this crazy story but i'm not going to make a huge deal about it. so, i'm going step away& move on. i'm going to focus on my life; losing weight, getting more hours at work, trying to see my boyfriend, do my homework& be one of the grandchildren in my family to graduate college. there are only few who have. i want to be one of them.
anyway, more info about me:
i'm karen, i'm born& raised in middle tennessee (murfreesboro is the center of tennessee). i'm an only child but some where out there i have a red headed step brother.
i love motorcycles! not the speed bikes but nice sexy motorcycles& sitting behind the man you love. its a great feeling being behind a bike, you feel free.
i have a wonderful supportive boyfriend who loves who i am& what i look like but understand what i want. i haven't told him that i love him but i really do.
i work at hottopic& have been there for about a year. i was a temp during the holidays for christmas in 07& came back hired part time permanently this year in june. so, yay! i'm trying to rebuild my resume because last year i was a careless person who walked out of a job. i have my reasons!
i'm back living with my mom!
i think the whole weight gain problem started at a very young age. i lost my father when 5 days before christmas. my mom had a hard time dealing with the lose so there was always junk food. i was teased at school for the clothes i wore, my glasses,& the slight fat i had on me.
when i was 15, i was on vacation with my aunt, uncle& younger cousin. we were eating wendy's when i looked around me& saw them shoving fries down their mouths. it made me sick so i didn't eat the rest of my food. i got home& started to work out the best i could. by my senior year of high school i was at my lowest weight, 165. stayed that way till the beginning of college in 2006.
this year, i came to my highest at 240. i have lost 5-10 pounds& right now i'm slightly at 235. its a hard road to go down on& i'm so ashamed of myself for this happening to me.
anyway, i will lose 70 pounds& get back in my size 12/13 jeans. i'll be happier again. :)
i also used to be a smoker& i haven't since april but i did have one yesterday because i was stressing out. i do drink beer but i have cut back to every month or so. i had a 6pack this month so no more till the end of the year!